The psychology of seat picking. This is actually a science. It’s an experimental field, but definitely a real one.
You probably already practice this intricate yet subtle science. Whether it’s the more overt move of saving a seat for your friends or moving one seat closer to your crush one class at a time (sorry, didn’t mean to call you out), mastering the psychology of seat picking could make you excited for every class you take. But if you feel you have not yet cracked the seat-picking code, this piece is for you. Psychology of Seat Picking 101. (The only qualification I can claim is that I’ve been thinking way too much about this.)
Before you can adeptly pick seats, you must master timing. Timing is the foundation of seat picking. When you arrive at class can set you up for thrilling success or devastating failure. There will be no seats to choose from if you are too late. There’s also absolutely no time to chitchat, which can be a good or bad thing depending on if chitchatting is part of your plan. For example, if you’re trying to talk to a stranger or turn an acquaintance into a friend, get to class early. If the person you want to talk to happens to be early as well, you’ll have a few shared moments alone. Being alone in a room with someone else gives you something in common to talk about. Of course, this assumes that they aren’t chronically late and you are in a fairly small classroom. If you’re in a large lecture hall, you should take the first class to see where your target is sitting. Once you have discovered that, next class, move to the section they are sitting at, whether that be the left, middle, right or even balcony (if you’re in Ryan Auditorium). On the other hand, if you’re trying to avoid someone, try to be a few minutes late. If you don’t want to sit next to someone, but also don’t want to give off the vibe that you’re trying to avoid them, being late gives you the pretense for avoiding them, since you’ll be busy finding an open seat as quickly as possible. If they happen to have an open seat next to them, go for the next available one. If you seem rushed and flustered, you have enough plausible deniability that they might not necessarily think that you are avoiding them.
But timing doesn’t just mean when you get to class. In the economy of seat picking, every second is an opportunity to, for example, make eye contact and smile at someone. Every second is an opportunity to ask that acquaintance “How are you?” If you have a couple more seconds, the salutation version of “How are you?” can turn into an actual conversation. (I mean, why do people effusively say “How are you?” and then just walk away??) Each time you learn something new, you step closer to the friendzone (which is actually something we want in this scenario), turning them from people you wave at on the street (aka “hi buddies”) to more!
However, there is one devastating tendency that students have to be aware of – once they pick a seat for the first class, they continue to sit there afterward as if the seat is assigned! I don’t understand why people self-assign seats and refuse to move to other seats or sections after the chaos of the first day. This unfortunate tendency poses a challenge to taking full advantage of the seat picking. As a result of this bias, often, picking a different seat later in the quarter may cause trouble – some people may be slightly disgruntled that you have apparently “stolen” their seat! They might stop and give you a puzzled look and move somewhere else. The best thing you can do in these circumstances is to merely ignore them. You have an end in mind, and you will achieve it. Don’t let anyone get in your way. But you must be earlier than the person you are going to “steal” the seat from. Otherwise, they will thwart your strategic positioning by merely upholding the status quo. I say, don’t be afraid to be a harbinger of change. Do it proudly (and early)!
Once you become an upperclassman, it’s highly likely that you’ll walk into class on the first day of the quarter and discover multiple friends from different parts of your life also taking this class. In this situation, how do you choose seats without privileging one friend over the other? There are two ideal ways to deal with this phenomenon: arrive early or arrive late. If you arrive early, it’s likely that none or only one of your friends will be sitting in the lecture hall or classroom. If none of your friends are there, you get to choose where you want to sit. As your friends trickle in, the burden of choosing now lands on them. If only one of your friends is there, there is only one right answer. On the other hand, if you arrive late, no one will judge you for choosing the closest seat even if it happens to be with a different friend. It does get a little awkward if you’re early but not early enough and several different friends are sitting in different locations. In that case, you can either choose a seat between friends, choose the loner friend or use the bathroom and come back later. Who knew that having too many friends could also cause problems! But, honestly, it’s a good problem to have, and if they’re true friends, no one is going to give a shit where you sit.
If you fully take advantage of the psychology of seat picking, you could make new friends in the class. I have also heard my fair share of friends-to-lovers! Anyway, congratulations for finishing The Psychology of Seat Picking 101. Have fun over-analyzing where everyone sits in your classes now!
