In a fit of desperate loneliness the other night, it occurred to me that if you can dream it, it can happen. If I make explicit the exact qualities I want in my dream companion, visualize my intentions clearly, then the 💫manifesting 💫 can begin. At the very least, I will know love when I see it, and it will be amazing.
Of course because it’s me, a terminally online recovering fangirl who watches too much media all the time, the qualities of my dream boy are found in parts of fictional characters. I would like to emphasize that this experiment is neither about looks nor the actors who play the characters because (1) No one character is completely perfect, but my dream boy is flawless, and (2) I simply do not know celebrities. They can never be trusted. Consider this Love Is Blind, where it’s famously all about the emotional connection. I am but a simple girl who wants simple things in any packaged form.
Without any further ado, welcome to the building of my dream boy.
1. The charisma of Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man series)
I feel like it isn’t controversial to say I like people who are easy to get along with. On top of that, I love people who are magnetic, who are always the center of attention not on purpose, but just because people love being around them. It never made sense to me why this Peter was bullied in high school. Everyone who talked to him for only a few minutes were smiling and twirling their hair. We all had crushes on him – The Amazing Spider-Man’s contribution to humanity’s betterment cannot be emphasized enough. From Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker, I pluck the spirit of charisma that makes me go heart-eyed every time he shows up on screen.
2. The sheer drama of Edward Cullen (The Twilight Saga)
A lot has been said about Edward Cullen. Famously, a lot has been written, too. I will not wade into the discourse about whether he truly is a good guy because at the end of the day he is a fictional character – a 90-something-year-old vampire (!!) who went back to high school (!!!!!). It has been fantasy from the start dahhhling. The girlies that get it, get it. Anyway, at the end of New Moon, Edward makes such impressive choices that he has to be mine.
For whatever plot reasons, he attempts to reveal his vampirism to humans in the most dramatic, everything perfect yaassssss way possible: let’s watch the clip together. First of all, he looks terrible, which is so funny. He has known of Bella’s alleged death for less than 24 hours and is already wasting away. Next, the performance of it all, walking out at the climax of this festival at high noon … there are easier ways to do this my boy! A small group of tourists would have sufficed! Mr. Cullen has an eye for the dramatic! He never takes the easiest route but always the one that’ll make the best story. My silly, brooding king. From Edward I take the flair for drama, summarized succinctly by what Gwyneth Paltrow said about Ben Affleck: “[He] makes life tough for himself. He’s got a lot of complication.”
3. The head empty vibes of Adam Groff (Sex Education)
Sometimes, I think it’d be nice to spend some time with someone like Adam Groff. Have you ever met a person and you get the feeling that there’s not much going on up there, just static and vibes? I think it would be pretty peaceful to exist that way. My mind is full of silly little fantasies, I cannot be a gorgeous gorgeous empty-headed girl, thus I am putting it out into the universe that I’d LOVE a himbo, or at least a decent man.
4. The ideal companionship of Peter Kavninsky (To All the Boys franchise)
People have things to say about the To All the Boys movies. More power to them. I simply close my ears and do not listen. I think it should also be noted a lot of criticism of PK comes from his relationship with Lara Jean (which makes sense, she is the protagonist of the films). For the sake of a thought experiment, let’s remove her and isolate him only. Peter Kavinsky is a good boyfriend!!! And let me be clear, Peter Kavinsky, NOT Noah Centineo. PK has the boyfriend thing wrapped up tight, haters clear away. For my dream boy, I take the warm and cuddly boyfriendness of Peter Kavinsky.
5. The Skater Boy disposition of Seth Acosta (Moxie)
I can’t say I overwhelmingly enjoyed Moxie. It had its highlights (stan the Linda Lindas) and certainly beat us over the head with its message on girl power! and everything else, but I found the film focused heavily on white feminism, an approach that centers white womanhood and leaves other lived experiences at the wayside. A more intersectional lens would have been welcomed. Nonetheless, a shining star in the film was the character Seth Acosta, played by Nico Hiraga. I loved his style. Look at his hand dear readers! Look at it again! Seth was a sk8r boi, I said you are now mine forever boi. I love skater boys’ style, the slouchy, long hairedness of it all – everything to me! If there was a scene where he wore an oversized sweater I’d probably pass out. Thus from Seth Acosta I collect a trendy skater’s style and ways of being.
Honorable mentions/detritus from the internet that I am always thinking of:
To round it all up, my dream boy is charming, dramatic, dumb, boyfriendy and stylish. Will he magically appear under the arch for me as I’m crossing Sheridan? I am counting on it. But even if he doesn’t, that’s okay too. You don’t need to hear it again, but your relationship status does not define you. Truly, writing this was a great exercise in recognizing the positive qualities in people, and it can apply to everyone around you. Everyone in your circle has something marvelous going for them, so reach out and tell them! They’d probably appreciate it! I know I would. On top of that, shoutout to all the creators – writers, directors, actors, costume, make-up crew. It takes an entire team to create a character the audience falls in love with. Creatives, you are doing a fabulous job. I am always head over heels for you.
Graphic by Esther Tang.