[“Get Cultured Intro Theme” By Tenny Tsang]

Sami Berisha and Prabhav Jain: Welcome to the Get Cultured podcast.

Sami Berisha: I'm your host Sami Berisha.

Prabhav Jain: And I'm the co-host Prabhav Jain.

Sami: I'm from London.

Prabhav: I'm from Singapore.

Sami: And I'm a freshman in Medill.

Prabhav: I'm in Weinberg studying philosophy.

Sami: That was a big list of things. Jesus Christ.

Prabhav: A lot of stuff, yeah

Sami: A lot of stuff to get through.

Prabhav: Nice, so what's this about.

Sami: So our podcast is about getting people cultured, because clearly you Americans have absolutely zero. Anyway, we're just going to bring some Internationals on here, interview them about their experience, weird things happening at Northwestern so on and so forth.

Prabhav: Just all the works, you know, their weird slang, the cultural differences, what they miss about home, what they like about here. So on, anyways, so for today, our first episode is going to be about Great Britain.

Sami: We have a very special guest today. Everyone on campus knows her as the famous...

Savannah: Fake American!

Sami: Yeah!

Prabhav: Introduce yourself, what's your name?

Savannah: I'm Sav, I was born and raised in London, more years than Sami, but my accent has let me down. Unfortunately.

Prabhav: Why is that?

Savannah: Got stuck with the American one.

Sami: Yeah, so sad. I genuinely feel bad for you.

Savannah: But I got the culture, so...

Prabhav: You got the culture down?

Sami: She has been cultured!

Prabhav: Let's get started. Let's do a pop quiz with culture: slang.

Savannah: Let's go.

Prabhav: What's your favorite slang from the UK?

Savannah: My favorite slang is 'kotch my yard' — and that means ladies and gentlemen, come to my house. You can say this if you have a free house, it's a free 'yard'.

Prabhav: For like a party.

Savannah: Yeah.

Sami: I've genuinely never heard of this in my life.

Prabhav: Okay, she's out-Britishing you.

Sami: She's out-Britishing me and she has an American accent.

Prabhav: How's that feel, Sami?

Sami: I would just say come to my yard, bruh. I mean if I was saying that to a girl, I'd be like: bruh come kotch.

Prabhav: You bring the girls to your yard?

Sami: Yeah, to my yard. No, but not the yard is not actually the yard.

Prabhav: Okay.

Savannah: What about you?

Sami: My favorite slang? Sket.

Prabhav: Can you spell that for me?

Sami: No, no peng, peng, peng.

Prabhav: Peng?

Sami: Peng is like when err, it's a synonym for beautiful. So like you look at the sky and you're like, oh this sky is so peng, beautiful. But if you're referring to say a man or a woman as peng that would that means more like hot or sexy.

Prabhav: How do you do that? I'm the girl who, like, how would you describe me right now Sami?

Sami: You're so peng, man.

Savannah: You're a pengting.

Prabhav: That's nice.

Sami: You flipping pengting. I could eat you up.

Prabhav: That went from wholesome to just rapey dude I'm not even gonna lie. I’m not feeling safe. This room is kind of small guys, I’m gonna leave.

Savannah: Moving on.

Prabhav: Alright Sav one up him.

Savannah: Another good one is BTEC and I think that's useful for when you're trying to say something is shit.

Prabhav: What does BTEC actually mean? Where does it come from?

Sami: BTEC is like erm, in our secondary school, so like our version of high school, people can take lower level courses called BTEC courses. They're more like gearing people towards skills in the workplace like BTEC health and beauty, is like the most useless qualification you could ever have. So if something's like useless or really bad, we call it BTEC.

Savannah: Adidas is the BTEC Nike.

Sami: And Nik-E in England is pronounced Nike.

Prabhav: Hold on, first of all Adidas is BTEC Nike?

Sami: Yes.

Prabhav: Yo it's all about the Ultra-boosts man,  come on.

Sami: Yeah, get out.

Savannah: It's Air Force or nothing.

Prabhav: The UK is a lawless land.

Sami: It is. London is...

Savannah: For real.

Sami: Yeah.

Prabhav: Yeah, ite.

Savannah: You got skengs everywhere.

Prabhav: What is a skeng?

Sami: Skengs and waps.

Prabhav: What does that mean, my guy?

Sami: So a skeng is like a knife, or like a, er, weapon in general.

Prabhav: So like British gangsters will have like a knife on them.

Sami: Yeah, yeah, so we don't we don't have pistols. Well, we do have guns, actually. Just a little bit, like a sprinkling. Like a healthy amount! The level 50 roadman will have a gun but the level 25 roadman, a roadman is a gangster by the way, a level 25 roadman will have a skeng or a strap.

Prabhav: Which is a knife. Like a big one?

Sami: Bro some people like...

Savannah: Oh my god, the zombie knives.

Sami: The zombie knives so like...

Prabhav: Like a machete!

Sami: Right now guys, I'm gesturing I'm like, I'm rubbing my thigh just to, just to — not to be weird, but just — basically people stuff knives down their pants. Which we call trousers by the way, which is weird. So down their trousers and like the knife will reach up to their knees from like their waist to their knee.

Prabhav: That's a big boy knife.

Sami: And they just pull it out. Some people carry katanas...

Prabhav: Like a full-on Japanese katana!

Sami: Insane. Bowie knives. Zombie knives, they're like serrated.

Prabhav: Ohh, that's gonna leave a scar.

Sami: Lawless. I mean there's more law than America to be honest, I don't know why we're complaining.

Prabhav: Now. Let's move on. What do you miss about home, Sav? What was your favorite thing about the UK?

Savannah: I miss the death stares on the tube and being rude to people as an outlet for your frustration.

Prabhav: A quick description, the tube is basically the subway. Yeah, the train basically. But why do you miss death stares, are you just masochistic?

Savannah: Yeah. It's like a wave hello. Basically.

Sami: When someone calls you a prick you're like "ah, you prick too" back to them and like it's like, "oh hi, how are you?", "I'm all right."

Prabhav: But just everything is just like, you know cuss words, you just cuss each other out.

Sami: Yeah, we just cuss each other out. Yeah, like, and it's just nice.

Prabhav: You miss the same thing Sami, the train?

Sami: Yeah, just like abusing people on public transport.

[Laughter]

Okay, that sounds bad. Wait, let me rephrase that. But like barging by people or like if someone barges into you just being like "you fucking prick, how dare you, I hope your mom gets a nice meal at Nando's tonight." Yes, I'm wholesome like that.

Prabhav: Is that wholesome, or is that like uhh....

Sami: It's not a euphemism. Like, I genuinely hope their mom gets a nice meal at Nandos.

Prabhav: Sami's a nice boy, he's kind, he's a gentleman.

Sami: I'm a gentleman, I'm British, what can I say?

Prabhav: Is everyone there dressed like The Kingsmen?

Sami: Weirdos who want to get robbed. Yeah, strange boys.

Prabhav: What's something you don't miss about the UK? What's something you guys appreciate about the America's, the land of the free, the home of the brave?

Sami: How nice people are here. It's like really...

Savannah: Number one: friendliness. Which is nice.

Prabhav: Oh, wait, hold on. Hold on guys.

Savannah: It's good departure.

Prabhav: So what you miss about the UK is that everyone's mean to you and are dicks, but what you like about the U.S. is that everyone is friendly and they're not dicks.

Sami: Yeah, because like I feel like we can be better people here, you know, there, it's like in the UK, it's like a self-fulfilling cycle of hate and depression and sadness. It's a new start, it's a new leaf, a new beginning.

Prabhav: Turn over a fresh leaf.

Sami: Yeah.

Prabhav: You better people now?

Sami: No, not at all.

Savannah: People are weird over here. People say hi even though you don't know them.

Sami: Yeah and like they smile, like what's wrong with you people, don't look at me.

Savannah: Close your mouth.

Sami: Close your mouth. Stinking breath. Nasty ass.

All: Wait, wait, wait, woah, woah, woah.

Sami: It's the London in me coming out, I apologise guys.

Prabhav: Sami got excited. But, I have noticed one stereotype about people in the UK: bad breath, ugly teeth, is that true?

Sami: I've never had braces and mine are straight.

Prabhav: Braces aren't a thing in the UK?

Savannah: I had them.

Prabhav: American, you're fake.

Sami: She's fake. Yeah, I never had braces and my shit is good.

Prabhav: All right, so I guess that's a fake stereotype.

Sami: No, it isn't though, but like if you go to like a really English town and you just walk around they look like, fucking, the Hunchback of Notre-Dame. Walking around like "aghhhhhh." You're like "woahhh guys." "Do you have some crack?" "Noooo, please." Yeah, I wouldn't recommend going to places like Slough.

Savannah: No.

Sami: No.

Savannah: Avoid.

Prabhav: Stick to London?

Sami: Stick to London, yeah.

Prabhav: Alright. Last segment, what is the dumbest thing you've been asked about the UK, about back home?

Savannah: I've been asked if time works the same way in London and whether I have tea with the queen?

Prabhav: Wait, but does time work the same way?

Savannah: It does indeed.

Prabhav: So every 60 seconds in America, a minute passes in the UK?

Sami and Sav: Yeah.

Prabhav: Mind-blowing guys. I'm just gonna give you a minute let that sink in.

Savannah: Have you been asked, tea with the queen?

Sami: Erm have I? I probably have, I probably have.

Prabhav: What's the most dumb, what's the dumbest thing you've been asked?

Sami: Some guy. I hope he's not listening because he lives just down the corridor from me, but erm, he came up to me and he asked me: is it true that all Polish people in the UK are builders? And, to which I responded, "are you being serious right now, bro?" Like, what kind of question is that? He was being serious and then I had to explain the fact that no, weirdly enough, not all Polish people are builders, you know, they actually do other...

Prabhav: But are all builders Polish?

Sami: No, weirdly enough! Yeah. It was weird. He saved it by telling me that he was Polish.

Prabhav: Clutch, clutch.

Sami: He clutched it otherwise that would have been, err would have turned out you know very different.

Prabhav: You would've pulled out the katana right?

Sami: Pulled out the strap. But like yeah, that was like a very strange interaction.

Prabhav: Yeah.

Sami: Yeah man, people are weird.

Prabhav: That's all right, man. Any parting comments Sav, Savannah?

Savannah: You all are peng tings with fresh creps.

Sami: Oh my God, we haven't gone over creps.

Prabhav: What the fuck does creps mean?

Sami: So crep isn't actually like crepe. It's not a pancake, it's not a pancake. It's like er crep refer, refer to your shoes. Right now, Sav has some clean creps bruh!

Prabhav: They white. They white.

Sami: Air Force Ones. Ohhhh myyyyy!

Prabhav: How about the Ultra-boosts?

Sami: Nah man. Those are dutty.

Savannah: Dead.

Sami: Dead. Dead that ting, dead that ting.

Prabhav: Well, there you have it guys. Adidas does not do well in the UK.

Sami: They really don't, it's the land of the Nike.

Prabhav: So if you learn nothing else in this podcast, time to buy some Nike Air Force Ones.

Sami: Yeah, Nike Air Force Ones.

Prabhav: Sorry, Nike. Well, thank you so much for appearing Savannah. Hope to see you on campus.

Sami: Yeah.

Prabhav: And to all our wonderful listeners. We hope you...

Sami and Prabhav: Get cultured!