How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days is among the most iconic romantic comedies ever created. This quarter, NBN is paying homage to this masterpiece by chronicling the most awkward and misguided things Northwestern students can do at the beginning of a relationship. Looking to stay uncuffed this spring? This article is for you.

Day One

I went on a date today! We’ve been LinkedIn DMing for two weeks, so I figured it was time to meet in person. During our lunch at MOD Pizza, I reminded him we’d basically been exclusive for half a month. He laughed and told me I was “so funny.” I’d say things are going really well.

Day Two

After our date, I uploaded our text messages to Fizz so I could get feedback from the student body. Today, he texted me a screenshot of my post with two question marks, which was such a cool and enigmatic way to ask me on a second date.

Day Three

I was busy.

Day Four

We were trying to decide on a date location, so I told him Kellogg is super picturesque. I didn’t expect him to know where it was since it’s a pretty underground campus spot, but we settled on a classroom near my old flame’s — and linear algebra professor’s — office.

Day Five

I was accidentally late to our date — my moped got snowed in. Tragic. However, we still really connected today. He started talking about his “Politics of Consumption” class, which I thought was a great segue for me to bring up my trust fund. He didn’t say a word for the rest of the date, but I imagine it was because he was mesmerized by my extensive knowledge of Pawn Stars lore.

Day Six

I saw him in periodicals! He was with his friends, so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to introduce myself and joke about which of them would be included in our wedding party. He put his head down on the table as I walked up. Poor guy! I couldn’t imagine how tired he must have been to nap in the library, so I recorded some original lullabies for him to listen to at bedtime and sent them over. I haven’t heard back — I’m assuming they worked.

Day Seven

I had an econometrics midterm. I asked him to take it for me, but he said no. I’m so glad he believes in me!

Day Eight

I texted him about our third date plans, but he was busy, which was disappointing. A picnic in the Tech steam tunnels would’ve been perfect. Alas, he told me he has to work on a project in Mudd tomorrow, so I’m planning on surprising him there. Unfortunately, I can’t for the life of me figure out what to wear. He just friended me on Facebook, and after my “Intro to Psych” lecture on Sigmund Freud, I think I might dress up as his mom.

Day Nine

Today was our third date, a pivotal milestone in our relationship. I searched far and wide before I finally found him and his DTC group. I think he pretended not to see me when I showed up in his mom’s signature khaki capris and striped long-sleeve, but he was probably just playing hard to get. Cheeky.

Day Nine-and-a-half

I’ve sent him a couple messages, seeing as we just had our one-week anniversary (three if you count our online courtship), but he hasn’t responded. Will report back soon. In other news, I discovered that my Spanish partner is the man behind our mascot! Maybe not all hope is lost. I’ve always had a thing for Willie. ;)