Isabel St. Arnold

I'm Keweenaw Bay Ojibwe. I'm not enrolled. I'm what they would call a “descendant,” technically, but that's a whole thing with blood quantum. Blood quantum is a really big, broad historical topic. The U.S. government made these rules for what makes an Indigenous person an Indigenous person or a citizen of their nation, because we're considered sovereign nations. Tribes don't have to use blood quantum anymore, but a lot of them still do. It's a very colonial way of keeping track of citizenship, but at the same time, it's a hard decision to make because there's a lot of people who claim Indigeneity who have no real lineage. Keweenaw Bay Ojibwe, they still use blood quantum. According to them, you have to be one quarter to be enrolled. My dad is one quarter, which means I'm an eighth by those standards, and so I can't be involved. People become not enrolled in their nations very quickly. We're harming ourselves in a way. We're just not making our communities as stable as they could be by following these colonial ideas of blood quantum.

I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I went to an elementary school called Indian Community School, and it's a school for Native students in Milwaukee. I had curriculum that was centered on Indigenous knowledge systems. They had Ojibwe language, Oneida language and Menominee language, which are three big tribes in Wisconsin. Even though I grew up in community and with my culture, I would still identify as reconnecting because there are things I didn't get to do. I didn't really go to my reservation growing up, which is in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I'm still learning that history and that connection.

It's been surprising how connected I have felt at Northwestern. I think that's because the Native community is small here, but everyone is so committed to each other and building community. If you're not seeing yourself on campus and not having that community, that can be really hard, but I just immediately felt welcomed and like I had a place.

There's also a lot of people in NAISA who feel that they're reconnecting as well. They don't feel like they have a connection at all, so it's their chance to reconnect. I love when people come for those reasons. I know I've grown so much in terms of my identity over the past four years, so it's really interesting, cool and beautiful to see other people grow in that way, too. I have full confidence in all of them that they will make NAISA even better and more amazing than it already is.

I found out about the Rock the Sunday of Family Weekend. I saw in the GroupMe, “Oh my god, did you guys see the Rock?” I knew instantly that something bad happened. I was at the CNAIR House from noon until midnight, just helping people, comforting people, writing the statement. Most of NAISA was there. Whoever could be there was there. I'm already an anxious person in general, but it was a really high level of anxiety for me. In those moments, it really feels like you can't mess up. Even when it comes to writing statements and everything, it's just a lot. I didn't do homework once that week because I didn't have time, and if I did have time, I was too mentally exhausted to even think about it.

The issue for me was that I was so busy trying to support other people that I didn't really have the option to process it right away. I didn't give myself permission to process it. I kind of removed myself. But I was definitely angry in the moment. I was angry that this was all falling back on us, and we had to do all this work. I was angry that I was up until 4 a.m. writing a list of demands.

The whole “Ojibwe no way” thing is a direct attack on me as an Ojibwe person. It took a really long time to process that and accept that. Now, I can be upset about it and give permission to myself to be upset and to be hurt.

At the same time, it was also really amazing to see the way that our community came together to support each other. Immediately, so many people were like, “I'm coming to the CNAIR house,” or “I'm bringing food.” Just basic things to make sure that we were taken care of.

What I've struggled with the most throughout my life is being Native and white and not being enrolled in my tribe. It doesn't really bother me anymore if people don't see me as Native because I know I'm Native and I know I have that connection. In the past, that was something I really struggled with. Especially because most people are going to perceive me as white only. Which is fine — that's a privilege in and of itself. I am white, I am Native, both of these things at once, not any less of one or the other. Also recognizing the difference between race and ethnicity and all those things, and just being like, “Fuck blood quantum,” basically. I think it'll be a journey forever, for the rest of my life.