Unfortunately, NBN has yet to send our staffers to ambush pedestrians for a “What song are you listening to?” TikTok, meaning Northwestern students’ niche musical identities are yet unknown. Fortunately, the Hangover section has decided to take matters into our own hands by composing incredibly obscure playlists tailored to your unique listening habits. That way, we know exactly what you’re listening to on your walk to class! No need to ask.
Start quiz
You walk into the dining hall for din-din. What’s your drink of choice?
I’m obviously booking it straight for the cantaloupe-infused water. (Freak.)
I’m terrible at time management and want to make it everyone’s problem, so coffee!
My go-to is a sugary fountain drink as a little “treat yourself.”
You’re walking along the Lakefill with headphones in. What’s your genre of choice?
Top 40 EDM remixes
Glee: The Complete Playlist (yes, this is a genre)
Whale sounds to maintain my mysterious persona
Favorite holiday?
Queen Elizabeth’s Birthday (May she rest in peace)
Queen Bey’s Birthday (May she live forever)
Your favorite artist is performing in Chicago next weekend. How much are you willing to pay?
Nothing (I mean nothing) could keep us apart.
Five whole meal exchanges
Taylor Swift or John Mayer?
John
Taylor (pass go and collect $200)
Help! Your “friend” just invited the worst person you know to the pregame. What’s one surefire way to get them to leave?
Stuff those seven Pink Whit shooters into your socks and tell them you’re out of alcohol.
Text them that the pregame was relocated to the Norris basement bathroom (see: “The shitlist”).
There are five minutes left before you send Reza’s for the twentieth time this quarter. What’s your go-to hype song?
“Karma”
“Ms. Jackson”
Someone asks you who the most annoying people on campus are. Your response is:
Moped menaces
Sailing team
You should listen to
On my X Æ A-12 Musk type shit
Congratulations! You’re one of the most intolerable people on campus. Enjoy this meticulously curated playlist that could kill a Victorian child in 30 seconds.
Take the quiz again
You should listen to
P*SSY POPPING
You’re a bad bitch. But you probably knew that already. Here’s a playlist for you to strut down Sheridan to, whether you’re practicing your runway walk or trying to build up the confidence to work out.
Take the quiz again
You should listen to
Timeless Christmas
Imagine falling white stuff (snow), hot, thick, creamy beverages (eggnog) and wrapping up your gift for that special someone (Midnights on vinyl). Throw this one on to get ready for a “Christmas” delight!
Take the quiz again
You should listen to
doing nofing
If you’ve ever wanted to try self-hypnosis or you’re just grinding out that last paper before Winter Break, enjoy this playlist with nothing but white noise and nature sounds.
Take the quiz again