Join Archery Club and Spoon University for their annual William Tell Day fundraiser! Come learn about the Swiss folk hero and put yourself in imminent danger. Pay $5 to put the apple on your head or $10 to put the apple on someone else’s. Bows and arrows are provided. Participate at your own risk (or a friend’s)!

Purple Haze A Capella and the Mime Club will be hosting a silent auction next week, and the highest bidder will receive a private a capella show! They’ve been keeping it quiet, but the Mime Club has been practicing for months. This show is sure to knock your black-and-white striped socks off. (Disclaimer: No singing will be involved. Awkward dancing and smiling only.)

Is it that time of the month again? Reduce, Reuse, Recycle your blood! Volunteers from Menstrual Equity Activists and the University Blood Initiative will be operating collection bins at Norris all of next week. You know how the saying goes: One person’s menstrual blood is another person’s life-saving transfusion. Don’t miss your chance to donate!

For this week only, the Cycling Club and NU Undergraduate Energy Club are selling raffle tickets in the Norris Wildcat Room. Three lucky winners* will get their mini-fridge or off-campus house powered by the exercise bikes for a week! You’ll forget all about the smell of sweat and pent-up cyclist rage when you remember what you’re doing for the environment. *Winners must bike to power their own homes.

Don’t let your willy get chilly! Knitwestern and Sexual Health and Assault Peer Educators (SHAPE) will be giving away colorful, knit condoms and crochet dental dams in front of Tech for a voluntary donation. Keep things hot and steamy this winter by bundling up with some protection from the climate and chlamydia! Commissions are open for custom colors, textures and patterns. Email [email protected]. to place an order. All proceeds will go toward affordable STD testing for students.

It’s the spectacle of the quarter! We’ve gathered the most high-strung and most laid-back students we could find and put them in one room. Buy your tickets now to see the Undergraduate Premedical Society and the Zen Society participate in an interclub dialogue. We’re not sure who will crack first! If a member of either side converts to the other, the entire audience will receive a free Xanax prescription and one-hour back massage.

The upcoming NU Curling Club and NU Powerlifting Club event is canceled. The event was planned as the result of a catastrophic vocabulary mix-up and is no longer feasible. Both clubs offer disappointed prospective athletes their sincerest apologies and encourage them to continue both curling and curling.

North by Northwestern, the South Asian Students Alliance and the Middle Eastern North African Student Association will be selling compasses for $3.60 during the last weekend of Winter Quarter. Their table will be at the Arch, so head south to make sure their fundraiser doesn’t!




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