As someone who’s been a college student for all of seven weeks (eight if you’re counting #WildcatWelcome), I feel totally entitled to share my college hot takes. I mean, I’m an expert at this point, right?

Let’s start with a relatively chill hot take:

1. The dining hall food isn’t that bad.

Now, as someone whose nearest dining hall is Sarge, please hear me out. I must confess that, on an average day, I probably eat both lunch and dinner at Allison. Nonetheless, compared to the horror stories I’ve heard from friends and family at other universities, we Wildcats are lucky. Yeah, there’s a huge difference between the quality of food at Sarge and Allison, but overall, the food just isn’t that bad. I can say with certainty that other schools are not serving kimchi fried rice or buñuelos in their dining halls!

On another food-related note...

2. It’s not that hard to save money at college.

OK, this one comes with a few qualifiers: it’s not that hard to save money on food at college if you have unlimited meal swipes and are not a Norbucks/Colectivo/Newport fiend. Just live your life in the dining halls, and you’ll be fine. First-years shouldn’t need a detailed food budget.

Now, we’ve all heard our fair share of complaints about the quarter system, but no one acknowledges that …

3. You don’t have that much free time on the quarter system.

I feel like everyone (maybe just my mom) is always talking about how much free time you’ll have in college, but I’m still waiting for that to come! Clearly, all these people (or still just my mom) went to semester-system schools. We’re taking the same number of classes as those on the semester system, but the pace of our classes leaves us with little to no free time. Although people here do acknowledge the stress associated with the quarter system, they still seem convinced that college is full of free time.

Again, I am quite confident that we’ve all heard ramblings about how hard long-distance relationships can be, but why does no one acknowledge the fact that …

4. Long-distance relationships of any kind are hard!

Everyone else seems to understand and acknowledge the difficulty of long-distance relationships with a significant other while seamlessly staying in contact with friends and family from afar. I consider myself a pretty decent communicator, but I am falling out of touch with close friends and family members left and right! So, the next time someone mentions how badly they miss their significant other, hit them back with, “Well, I miss my best friend from home just as badly!”

Next up, I have a much hotter take:

5. Bobb isn’t the most social dorm.

I know that everyone and their mom (especially their mom) can agree that Bobb is pretty gross overall, maybe only second to West Fairchild, but can we all agree that it’s not a “social dorm?” As a Bobb-ert who has spent a fair amount of time in other dorms, I can attest to the fact that Allison is much more social. Step into the Allison common room (at just about any time of day), and you’ll see the same group of first-years playing pool, chess or the piano. Step into Bobb, on the other hand, and your sinuses will get attacked.

Now, here is a crazy one:

6. MOD Pizza is overrated.

Yes, MOD Pizza does claim to offer over 30 toppings. But, in reality, you can probably count on there being maybe 20 toppings. Plus, there are only so many toppings that actually work together in combination. So, with all of that in mind, you’re going to end up recreating the same pizza week after week. Also, why is MOD the only place that’s open on Sundays?! What about the poor lactose intolerants of this world?

Lastly, here is my most sizzling take of all:

7. “The Rock” simply isn’t that iconic.

OK, so we have a rock on campus that different organizations will guard for 24 hours and then paint? Wait, don’t forget about the 24/7 livestream! Big whoop. Just about every other school in the universe has a similar tradition. I mean, is “The Rock” really that important that it needs to be featured in the Class of 2028’s supplemental essay questions? To me, “The Rock’s” greatest appeal is the fact that I can always count on getting some free food before heading into University Hall.

So, there you have it, seven hot takes from my seven weeks at college! You all simply aren’t ready for what I’ll have to say after a whole QUARTER.