Arguably our favorite part of Dance Marathon: Asking 10 dancers (in a highly representative, scientific sampling) to make the ultimate choice. Would they rather have sex, or a shower?
Block 10: It finally happened. Block 10 of DM has clearly broken these students. In what other situation would ALL 10 sexually frustrated overachievers polled (#Nerdwestern) choose showering over having sex? Somebody call our archivist, because I genuinely don't know if this has ever happened before. (To be fair, three young men tried to cleverly say "Shower, THEN sex!" as if they were the first people to ever think of that one, but sorry, boys – if your first move is to shower, that's your answer. I don't make the rules; I just enforce them.) — M.M.
Block 9: I'm gonna be honest – it's getting pretty rank inside that tent. But the dancers have rallied after a pasta dinner (accompanied by chants of "It's dinner! It's pasta! Dinner, dinner, dinner! Pasta, pasta, pasta!") so shower has dropped back to a 5-5 tie with sex. The mood: upon being posed the ultimate question, one dancer yelled "I want a shower! My friend wants sex." Her friend quickly agreed. — J.L.
Block 8: In a complete turn of events, dancers overwhelmingly chose shower over sex. The dancers that chose shower looked at me with a dead and defeated look in their eyes, but the two dancers that chose sex started jumping up and down as "What Makes You Beautiful" started playing. A dancer wearing a gray jersey thought long and hard about his decision, asking "Which person? Which shower?" before deciding that sex was the way to go. — S.L.
Block 7: As the unbiased reporter that I am, I started off my mission with one goal: bring back sex. The last couple of blocks, dancers had felt so nasty they weren't looking to Get Nasty, but, thankfully, Block 7 put sex back in the running. As one heavily perspiring gentleman put it, "I would say sex, but only if I could shower immediately after. Like do it, and then just have soap all over my body." I wish him the best of luck in all of his endeavors. — M.H.
Block 6: Like last block, dancers are horny for a shower. One interviewee turned the question back on us: “Did the other person do DM?” He said he’d only have sex if the other person wasn’t also in the tent (we will say, putting a lot of faith in his own cleanliness). While it seems most students would rather shower, those who voted for sex are an enthusiastic minority – nearly all of them shouted “SEX” the moment we finished asking the question. Big mood. — C.K. & K.R.
Block 5: At DM's halfway mark, dancers have been crowded into an almost uncomfortably warm tent for 15 hours, and most would be down for shower. Some, however, "still don't feel gross," so they'll pass. The dancers still have a long day ahead of them, it seems like they're ready to Marvin Gaye and Get their Grime On. — M.Y.
Block 4: I thought sex would keep its six-vote lead until my last subject told me she'd pick shower. "Is that boring?" she asked. On one hand, no: We're over 10 hours into DM. But as "Blow" blares through the tent and Kesha sings "Let me see them Hanes," sex seems to be on the minds of many dancers. One dancer told me, "I don't feel that dirty" after he voted for sex. It sounds to me like he actually does. —J.C.
Block 3: Say goodbye to shower's narrow lead, because in the first lockdown block, it's all about sex. Now that it's just dancers in the tent, everyone's feeling more open, which means only two votes for shower. I spoke with one unknown dancer, disguised by an afro wig and sunglasses, who told me plainly, "Have sex." Another couldn't believe NBN had the nerve to ask such a thing: "Sex?" she asked. "S-E-X?" And she voted for it. — J.C.
Block 2: Shower pulled ahead in Block 2, but just narrowly - six people said they would rather get clean, as opposed to four who said they would rather get dirty. One young man in a sports jersey said, “I’m pretty clean right now, so… have sex.” You’re valid, sir. You’re valid. — M.B & M.M.
Block 1: 45 minutes into Block 1, the dancers are split: five would prefer sex, and five would prefer shower. We will say, to the five who are already wishing for a shower – you have a long road ahead of you, and we wish you the best of luck. — K.L.
To follow along with our 30-hour Dance Marathon 2019 coverage, check out our other stories here: http://alpha.northbynorthwestern.com/tag/dm-2019/